Struggles

Unfortunately, at this moment in my life, I am struggling to make it through every day. I am constantly looking for the next attack. Where will Satan linger next? God must have a big plan for me if Satan wants to bring me down this bad. He has attacked me in every place of my life. My career, my family, my friends, and my teachers. I have even been physically attacked. Every day is an absolute trial. I don't want to do my homework. I don't want to attend class. I don't want to practice.

The only good part of my day is when I do my devotionals and study God's word. The only, absolute only joy I have is when I remember that Christ died for my sins. It is amazing how God has been guiding me through my readings. For example, (and I know this is going to sound awful, but I am nothing but consistently honest about myself) the other day I was reading in John and every time I read something like "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink" (John 7:37) or anytime Jesus made a reference to himself as the Christ, I thought, " How do we know that this isn't just some man who thought a lot of himself, just like some of the cult leaders we have seen here in the 20th/21st centuries?" Well, I turned the page and what did I see? The heading "The Claims of Jesus About Himself". Here's what Christ says:

"The Jews answered him, 'Aren't we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?' 'I am not possessed by a demon,' said Jesus,'but I honor my Father and you dishonor me. I am not seeking glory for myself; but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge. I tell you the truth, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death.' "
John 8:48-51

God answered my question right there in those passages! He guided me directly to that Scripture so that I would know that Christ was not in fact coming in glory for himself but for the One who sent him. AWESOME! He has even directed me to Scripture lately that friends have needed to hear. How awesome is He!

I am facing so many hard questions and so many hard conversations right now, but I will gladly bear them if they bring the opportunity to share my faith in Christ to the rest of the world. I want to spread the love, joy, and peace that is Christ Jesus to all of my friends. God has laid so many of them on my heart right now that I literally want to cry just thinking about it. I just want them to know how much I love them and that I want them to know how much Christ transforms their lives if they will only allow him to. Will we continue to suffer? Of course. This world is difficult to endure, Christian or not. So wouldn't you rather have someone to guide you through it and promise that everything will be ok? It really will. In Christ, everything will be ok.