Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
-Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)
This summer has been a period of tremendous spiritual growth for me. In just these few short months, God has revealed so much of Himself to me. I have become thirsty for His word and seek to learn something new about His character every day. I am beginning to learn things about myself as well. I have come to recognize just how much I need to rely on God's strength and guidance to make it through daily life. Sometimes I fail to listen closely, but I am hoping to learn how to truly hear Him speak to my heart.
One of the things that has become very apparent to me is the need and desire I have for a strong spiritual leader and husband. My history with men has been filled with hurt, heartache, and disappointment. It just never seems to work out the way I have it all planned. However, through intense soul searching, I have come to understand why that is. I have been choosing whom I date rather than letting God show me the one He has for me. I now know that any man I ever choose for myself will never come close to the one God has for me. Further, the closer I get to Him, the more He shows me what kind of man He wants me to have. I know in my heart that I desire someone who loves Christ more than he loves me. I want someone who will pray with me, study Scripture with me, and put Christ first in every aspect of our family. This is so tremendously important to me that my heart aches and yearns just writing about it.
Having said that, I come to the verse at the top of the page. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." This is a verse that I really have to keep in my mind and heart. My previous relationships with men have damaged my faith and my witness in the past. They have left scars on my heart that only Christ can completely heal. True to the name of this blog, I am a hopeless romantic. I wear my heart out on my sleeve, and in desperation, I tend to settle for men who do not meet the aforementioned criteria. Once they leave me broken, I am filled with anger and resentment toward God for the pain I feel. This is the pattern that I am finally breaking. I will not allow any man to come before my God, and I will not settle for anyone less than the man God created to be my soulmate. I will guard my heart from any temptation that lies before me, and I will seek in earnest the kingdom of God.
Oh, and if by chance God has led a special man to read this post, I hope you like cats. Seriously.
No comments:
Post a Comment